it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
