I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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