I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
