I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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