She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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