Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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