did you get engaged???
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
