either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
We need to rekindle our bromance
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
