thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
not ubering you a puppy
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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