Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Randomize
