STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
