garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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