i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Randomize
