am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
