well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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