that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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