I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
