The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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