Betty ford says i'm here all night
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Every concussion has its silver lining
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Randomize
