Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize
