super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
