i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
