I'm gonna have a badass scar
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
