I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
We got so high we made milksteak
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
