Buhtt sex?
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize