how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
