The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
