Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Randomize
