I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
