I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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