so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
