Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
