This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
