I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
