I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
