It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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