I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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