how can u be prego again
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
