I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
