Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
