Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
