I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
