everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
