Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
