Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
