my being single is dangerous.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
dude. I can hear the air.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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