If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
