she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
