I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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