Do you still have your period?
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
