honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Randomize
