DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
