I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
