We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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