You're a womanizer and a bitch.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
