She's JV to your varsity
we made out on top of his cat.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
