I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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