Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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