I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
