she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
