The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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