okay pat passed out under dana's car
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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